Let Go of Fear This Matariki: A Guide to Transformation
FEAR and How it Links to 🌟Matariki🌟
What Was I Fearful Of?
For me, fear wasn't just about the big, obvious things—like being stuck in a job I didn’t love or trapped by a mortgage I didn’t want. My fear was the deeper, quieter fear of never changing… of staying stuck in a loop where I felt unfulfilled. This gnawing feeling took over and made me question everything.
When I made the decision to sell my home (which I loved) and downsize to a tiny house, I felt a sense of liberation. But as I started telling people about my plan, their fears began to surface.
"Isn't that your nest egg?"
"Where will you put the tiny house?"
"You don’t even have the tiny house yet!"
Their projections of fear—rooted in their own insecurities—took me by surprise. For a moment, I almost allowed their doubts to take root in my mind. But then I stopped. I got still. And I realized: this wasn’t my fear. This was their fear, projecting onto me what they would be afraid of if they were in my shoes.
Who’s Business Are You In?
A question I often ask myself and my clients when fear tries to take over is: "Who’s business are you in when you think that thought?"
Fear often arises not from our own internal responses but from worrying about what others might think, feel, or say. We get wrapped up in projections that have nothing to do with us, yet we let them influence our actions and decisions.
When someone else’s fear, opinion, or worldview starts to take over your thoughts, ask yourself: Am I in my own business or someone else’s? By recognizing that we’re often caught up in other people’s realities, we can break free from the fear that’s not even ours to carry.
Following the Breadcrumbs
As I reflected, I realized that fear wasn’t something to avoid; it was something to move through. So, I began to follow the breadcrumbs. When we make what feels like a huge leap of faith, the path forward doesn’t always reveal itself all at once—it unfolds one step at a time.
Eight years ago, I moved from Lower Hutt to the Wairarapa. It was a sudden decision, catalyzed by the fast sale of my house. At that point, I had the idea of building a tiny house on wheels, but it was still just that—an idea.
Step by step, everything started falling into place.
What is FEAR?
I like to think of FEAR as an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. It’s the mind’s way of spinning stories—projecting future scenarios that haven’t even happened yet. Fear is a natural response, and it’s important when there’s real danger. But when we let fear rule our daily lives, it can paralyze us, keeping us from stepping forward into the life we want.
Matariki: A Time for Renewal and Overcoming Inner Obstacles
Matariki, the Māori New Year, is all about reflection, renewal, and setting intentions for the year ahead. It’s a time to honor the past while looking forward to new beginnings. This time of year offers a perfect opportunity to examine the role fear plays in our lives and how it might be holding us back from blossoming.
Take a moment to reflect: Early Māori used the stars as a celestial map, guiding their planting and harvesting cycles. By tuning into the stars' signals, they could determine the right time to sow crops and harvest the fruits of their labor. If they’d allowed fear of the unknown to dictate their actions, they would’ve missed out on the cycles of growth that were key to their survival and prosperity.
In the same way, fear can cloud our judgment and prevent us from stepping into the natural rhythms of growth and renewal that are available to us. Just as Matariki marks a time to plant new seeds, we too can use this moment to plant the seeds of our future—free from the weight of fear.
Recognizing False Evidence
So how can we identify when fear is showing us "false evidence"? Here are a few ways:
Self-Reflection: Are the fears based on facts or assumptions? Digging deeper can help reveal the root of your fears.
Challenging Thoughts: Ask yourself: What evidence do I have to support these fears? What evidence do I have to counter them?
Past Experiences: Our past informs us, but it shouldn’t limit our future. Don’t let old stories shape new possibilities.
External Influences: Sometimes, the fears of others amplify our own. Be aware of how external opinions—social media, friends, family—might be influencing your thinking.
Steps to Overcome FEAR
Just like Māori navigators charting their course by the stars, we can develop tools to navigate through our own fears. Here’s how:
Acknowledge Your Fear: Recognizing it is the first step in overcoming it.
Gather Real Evidence: Find facts that counter your fears.
Break It Down: Big goals can seem overwhelming. Break them into smaller steps.
Focus on What You Can Control: Fear often arises when we feel like we can’t control the outcome. Focus on what’s within your power.
Embrace Imperfection: Fear of failure often holds us back. Failure is part of the process. It’s through mistakes that we learn and grow.
Seek Support: Talk to others—whether friends, mentors, or loved ones.
Take Action, Even Small Steps: The best way to dispel fear is to take action. Even if it’s just a tiny step, moving forward builds confidence.
Step Into Your Own Power: Take Action Today
This Matariki, I invite you to reflect on the fears that may be holding you back from living the life you truly desire. What false evidence are you letting guide your choices? What might you do if you weren’t weighed down by the fear of others’ opinions or your own projections?
If you’re ready to shift from fear to action and create a path forward that feels true to who you are, I’d love to support you.
Here’s how I can help:
Courage Cards: Pocket Strategies for a Calmer Mind
Quick, powerful mindset tools to help you manage fear, worry, and overwhelm—fast. These cards provide practical strategies that can be used anytime, anywhere, to help you regain control over your thoughts and emotions.Visualisation Meditation 101
Struggling to meditate because your mind won’t stay still? Visualisation can take you where silence couldn’t. Let guided visualisation give your thoughts somewhere to go so you can finally feel what calm is like.
Take the first step today:
💭 Reflect on one fear that’s been holding you back.
💭 Ask yourself, "Who’s business am I in when I think this thought?"
💭 Reach out for a complimentary coaching session to explore how you can break free from fear and step into the life you want.
You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Let’s make this Matariki the start of something transformative.
So If you’re….
💬 If you’re ready to break through the fears that are holding you back, comment below or send me a message! Let’s talk about how we can move you from where you are now to where you truly want to be.
